How random is life?  I love it!!

So, I'm at a braves game Tuesday night.  I haven't been to one in a while.. and they lost that night! *sad* BUT I just HAPPENED to be walking from the seats my group was SUPPOSED to be sitting in, in order to move to a section we WEREN'T supposed to be sitting in and just happened to run into DAN!!  (well really.. he called to me.. I was so oblivious as always!)  And met I his sister Virginia for the VERY FIRST TIME.  It was pretty exciting!  I've been reading Virginia's blogs for.. well forever it seems, and this was the first time I got to meet her!! Small world huh?  I mean.. it's not everyday you randomly leave where you're supposed to be for no apparent reason.. and bump into people who are SUPPOSED to be half way across the WORLD!   *Note to Dan and his amazing crew that night*  I am very very sorry I did not get to hang out with you.  Had I been there by myself I would have burdened you with my company until the ultimate demise of the braves... and THEN I would have demanded we exchange numbers so that I could text you and bother you until you felt like throwing your phones in the ocean as you crossed it... shoot.. even if it was just Nic and I ... I would have MADE him hang out! .. but then.. if his brother and HIS girlfriend hadn't been there.. we wouldn't have been moving.. therefore.. we wouldn't have even RAN INTO YOU!.. so I guess.. I would have rather met you and left.. than to never have met you at all .. *sigh*  But for real... I don't know how long you are staying in the states.. but.. call me sometime.. We'll go get coffee.. or not?!

I saw this article.. it's VERY RANDOM .. kinda funny.. SLASH.. kinda sad!!  it's about clothing shops being shut down in Iran for selling colorful clothing to women, or whatever! You have to read it.. but one line that stood out to me, just think.. exchange the word "clothes" for the words "terrorist groups" and the word "sell" for "harbor"

ok here's the quote from the article: "people in inappropriate clothes and those who sell these clothes are aware of their violations since they have often been given warning."  ?!  interesting...  

*PS* thanks to all who gave sound advice on my last rant...  you guys are great.. sorry i haven't written to you in a while.. i'll try to do better!

RANT! BEWARE

I haven't played w/ Xanga in so long.. it took me a min to figure out how to post! eek

So.. i'm a pastor's kid.. and if that doesn't screw you up enough .. i don't know what will! :) but i feel like i've made it out of the woods safe enough.. I never got into hard drugs, locked up or knocked up.  all but left the "rebellious" years behind me ... unscathed..  but for some reason my mom still puts me on guilt trips.

maybe that's just a mom's job?

I lead the youth praise and worship at my church when i was young and our youth were thriving. from about 15 to 19 i was the worship leader.. lead worship on sunday nights there for the last few years.. but It was a great time to be young in our church... we had killer youth leaders, bands came and played, lock-ins were awesome, we hung out w/ other churches who had cute guys! eventually we got our OWN CUTE GUYS!  i mean.. to be 16, female and in our group... was fantastic.. :) not to mention I loved leading worship..

when i got back from toccoa things had really changed at my church.. a lot of the youth had fallen off the wagon or gotten married and went to their new spouses' churches.. or the fact that our FREAKING BUILDING BURNT DOWN!!  kinda depressed some people.. whatever their reasoning.. a lot of them left..  not to mention I had gotten used to a certain level of music quality (toccoa might have been different.. and not exactly for me.. but they had some DANG good musicians.. and after playing and singing w/ them.. it was like a root canal every sunday morning at my church... it's not REALLY that bad.. but.. .. .. .. it was a difficult transition)  and my dad's preaching (though good and inspiring) ... well it's still my dad.. and as you get older this perfect man you have had your father enshrined as starts to chip away and you see every flaw .. as not only a pastor but a father, friend, and husband as well..  of course i'm not dumb.. no man is perfect. preachers/anyone in the ministry is no exception to the rule. I understand that..  But i am young.. and that seems to make and even bigger case toward my want to explore. Not just eat what i've been fed my whole life..

So now i'm 24 (ps. not boy crazy anymore) and helping another church (not in the same denomination i grew up in! which erks my mom to no end) start an "alternative" praise and worship service and i'm also attending (other than this ONE church not because they're over flowing w/ men! :) another church that is meeting in an elementary school.  Yes i've become a church hopper .. don't hate me.

So my mom is all pissed that i'm helping another church start a p&w thing.. and not going back to their church and helping them. ok my mom is the leader of music at their church and can i say for ONE thing my mom and i are both queen bees (musically speaking).. u can't have 2 in one hive (no matter what way your speaking).. it just never works out well.. i have to bite my tongue all the time.. and if i do step out and critique or suggest something different (no matter how marvelous it is!!)  she says she just can't to it.. and blames her being old as to why she can't learn new musical techniques (BS she just likes the way she does it!)  and when i try to sing a song (how it's SUPPOSED TO BE SUNG!) and she plays it a different way.. i can't even focus on worship.. because my musical ear is pounding.. it know it's crazy.. and if you're a musician or musically inclined i'm sure you can feel me.. everyone else may be lost.. but.. GOSH it's hard to press through physically BAD music to get to a spiritually GOOD place.. anywho  at this other church.. i may have been the last one to enter the group.. but when i set something down..(that is .. IF it's a good idea! haha) the people realize it's good and do it.. there's no this "i'm your mom and way more wise than you.. even in up and coming musical trends"

tonight she said something generally about putting all this time and money and love and energy into forming me and then i go somewhere else to use my talent. .. .. kinda hurt me.. like.. because i was born to them God put house arrest on me.. and i can't go to church anywhere besides their building!!  so when i went to confront her.. she tried to play it off like she was saying it about the WHOLE youth group.. (i'll admit.. it has dwindled to a sad state.. ) but she DIDN'T mean it like that.. i know my mom.. anywho.. it's like FIRST off.. GOD gave me this talent.. I started playin the piano when i was FIVE!  they didn't pay for music lessons until i was like ten and then NOT for LONG.. and I only learned how to play classical stuff anyway!. God pretty much taught me how to play church music (long story.. i don't want to diverge) I stopped taking lessons a good 2 years before i EVER played in church.. ~not to mention earlier in the evening my mom was trying desperately to convince my older brother to go into the army as clergy..  .. (it would be a great idea for him.. but he refuses!) .. she can't push him out of the nest.. but she can't stand seeing me 2 feet away...

arg.. ANYWAY so after i confronted her she asked me if i was trying to pick a fight w/ her.. ?!  yes mom.. i'm still 12.. and it's the cool thing to do... NOOOO!..

i just want her to accept that I AM GROWN.. i'm an adult.. i'm freaking 24 for goodness sakes! I'M OLD!  can't i attend the church i want to? even if it wasn't the one i was practically birthed in?!  I dunno..

she should be glad i'm not preggers outta wedlock on welfare or in jail.  or all three plus some!.. shouldn't she?

shouldn't she?

I guess I could very well go into a political rant.. which seems to be on everyone's mind lately.. but i'll take the higher route..

i think i was being hit on in the girl's locker room today!!!  (haha and THIS is the high route?! God help me!!! hah)  NO seriously.. I was coming out of the shower in my towel, passed a chick in her bathing suit heading to the hallway to the pool, i looked in a mirror because i OBVIOUSLY hadn't gotten all of my mascara out from under my eyes! sick.~  and i thought i saw the girl in the mirror turn around and look at me.. . but i was like.. whatever~

went to my locker.. and she immediately came around the corner and asked my name.. and continued to introduce herself.. at this point i was thinking "oooook?!"  like.. honestly.. you don't just INTRODUCE yourself while someone is standing there in a towel!?  i could be wrong.. it seems a little inappropriate?!  anywho.. i'm just being chill.. and when she realizes i'm not readily carrying on a conversation with her.. she goes "are you ok?.. you seem kinda sad"   now.. maybe she was just thinking of my feelings?!  maybe i looked like a potential suicide case w/ my runny mascara!!  haha  but i didn't think so.. i was like "i'm fine~  just tired i guess.. been workin out n all..thanks for lookin out.." (turning around.. looking in my locker... trying to find something to do other than let this chick think i was interested in what she had to say...)  she kinda hesitates.. says um ok.. and walks away.. ..

... ... .. kinda awkward.. .. ...  i'm not homophobic, I don't believe anyway.. I've had chicks hit on me before and it was kind of a thanks but no thanks deal... but when i'm standing there in a towel.. i mean.. call me crazy..  i would like to hear from all the straight girls out there.  WOULD YOU.. or WOULD YOU NOT.. try to strike up a conversation with a total stranger in a locker room who happened to be in nothing but a towel?!?!?!?  .... with your close friends .. it's no big deal.. at church camp kat, becky and i would all be in the shower room (different showers of course) and be talking carrying on conversations, singing, whatever.. . that's fine..  but if you don't know someone.. i think it's a little strange..   just sayin...

but what made it more weird.. is after i was changed i went to brush my teeth and the girl was next to the sinks getting dressed... she was walking to the pool 3 min before hand. .. but now she was leavin?  i don't get it.

... and while i'm on locker room etiquette.. WHY IS IT.. that all the old women think they have to strip down completely naked when changing.. .. i mean.. no underwear NOTHING!.. it's sick.. if i don't want to look at some hot chick naked.. i DEFINATELY don't want to look at your saggy self.. I'M JUST SAYIN..  when i'm changing it's a super quick exchange! i mean.. i try to make absolutely sure no one is in my row.. make sure my gym clothes are not inside out.. have them lined up so the SECOND i take off one thing then next is coming on... but nope.. not these old mamas!  they just let it all hang out.. you would think we were in some kinda retirement neighborhood strip club or something... SICK! HAHA.. .. anywho.. i need to stop talking about this.. i'm sure some of you have lost your appetites! 

have fun.. TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY!! WOOPWOOP

*WARNING*  this could be a touchy subject for some folks.. and a complete waste of time for others..  so if you're touchy or have better things to do... do not read further.. 

OK.  so, I haven't posted in about a million years.  and my first post back is not about anything of depth.  The last few rants i've had cramming my brain are a lot more politically charged, environmentally sympathetic, etc..  but this one is just stuck in my head tonight.

Why is it.. that most newly found gay guys think that all of a sudden now that they've realized they're gay... they have the gay-dar money can't buy!  They can spot a gay dude a mile away!  They can tell you the name brand jean he's wearing and his 'type' and his favorite cologne with but a glance in his direction.  ...  and from my experience they're usually wrong.  maybe they just need to tune it up?!..  it's sad really... OK.. the only reason I got on this topic in the first place... ...  lets backtrack

There's this kid at my job who recently realized he was gay.. or bi anyway..  but SERIOUSLY... i mean.. to me anyway..  Saying you're bisexual is just as fickle as saying you can't decide what pair of shoes to wear today!  HONESTLY!!!  what?  so you want to break my girl friends' hearts and then be my competition too?!  REALLY?!  i mean..   PICK A FREAKING SIDE! .. .. anywho..

So I worked with him last weekend and tonight too.  1st encounter of his new super power:  I had to greet a table for a server who was busy with another group.  two guys sitting at a booth.. table number 43 to be exact.  When i go up to the table i give them the regular spill..  my name is (insert name here).  (insert REAL server's name here) is going to be your server but I can go ahead and get your drinks if you want.  These two guys immediately start shooting the smack w/ me. and before you know it they're asking if their real waitress was hot too and could they have us both.. etc. etc.  Within 5 min. they had said every cheesy line you can expect some guy to say to a waitress they're trying to pickup.  (p.s.   guys.. it doesn't impress us.. we just laugh at your lameness so you'll give us a good tip.  if you were seriously trying to get a number or something... you could just try acting normal.  word of advise. take it or leave it.)

ANYWHO.. No lie.  10 min. later said newly-gay-guy comes over to me.  "table 43.  Guy on the right."  and he begins to ask me if I think this dude was interested and did I see him check newly-gay-guy out when he came in.. yadda yadda yadda.  I didn't want to let him down but honestly... unless dude at table 43 is bi too.. and the whole world is just over-run with sexually unstable males... then.. no.. i didn't' see dude checking him out because i was too busy trying to get away from his obsessive flirting. 

2nd encounter of the new and improved gay-dar of DOOM:  There are a group of fire fighters who frequent our restaurant about.. eh.. every 3 days! haha (they're on shift every three days.. nuff-said)  anywho.  tonight our closing cop robin.  (yes i work in the ghetto so we have to have a cop there when we close so we don't get robbed.  And yes she's a CHICK cop.. and admits that most chick cops have something to prove.. that's why they're always.....   .. jerks)   She was talking with some of the fire fighters and there is this pretty new latino guy who apparently thinks i'm cute and was asking her if I'm taken.   She was joking around with him saying she could work out an arrangement and all that.. being dumb.  ANYWHO the second they walk out the door she comes over to me.. laughing about what the fire fighter had said and telling me he was interested.. etc. etc. etc.  as they're walking through the parking lot to the engines newly-gay-guy says something..  ACTUALLY i had to get him to repeat it because apparently along w/ all the perks of becoming gay you get a handbook of lingo straight people don't understand. I got confused.  Finally I had him to repeat it a few times until he said what I understood to mean. "I'm pretty sure that Latino boy is gay."   ?!

I just had to call him out. I was like "DUDE!  *Newly-gay-guy!*  Not every man in the world is GAY!" 
*names were changed in the making of this story* 
I mean seriously!! and I'm not trying to be like.. "oh look, guys flirt w/ me" because .. honestly, these were two very unusual situations and.. geez.. guys and girls flirting?! it's been around since before fire!
BUT.. it's just like ARG... just because you're gay now doesn't mean that every man has nothing but YOUR BUTT on their mind! ..  (on a side note: I was talking to some actual gay guys one night about random things like iphones and stuff.  newly-gay-guy went back to a friend and told her that the gay guys were talking about his butt.... wha?) 

And this isn't the first time i've had a male friend go gay and then all of a sudden every other male they know is secretly peaking their nose out of the closet to look at him~  One guy went so far as to spread a rumor that the dude I was dating was gay and tried to holler at him! (he hasn't gone gay yet.. maybe he's just waiting for the right moment?! haha)  anywho.. .. ..

~ I'm not quite sure what I'm trying to say.  I know 12 year old girls who act this exact same way.  They think every guy is looking at them because THEY have just now realized guys.  What is it?  I kinda expect 12 year old girls to act like that.. but grown men?!  are they serious?!  maybe i need to give them a break too.. i mean.. THEY have just now realized guys too!  HAHA  but it's not like guys are 'all that' though!  haha.. maybe I'M GAY?!  .. jk.. you know i love the men folk~

WOW.. maybe it was a little too late for the first rant back on the xanga wagon. 

flickr?

I just signed up for one and put like.. 2 pictures on it..

i don't even know how to tell you to find it..

my name is   not your average jo    .. i think w/out spaces.

good luck finding it... i don't even think i'll be able to again

heh :)

night